writing is the art of the soul.

I'm bubbling with pride at the moment. I feel like my life is finally coming together. So you all know that I've been running Women for Sobriety (WFS) meetings at my local detox centre for the women in there. I guess a woman's shelter heard about me somehow and called to see if I could run WFS at their shelter once a week. It is such a wonderful, humbling, rewarding opportunity. I feel such happiness that my volunteering is making a difference. Not only that, it's saving people. There is one woman from detox who since attending the meeting I run, has been sober ever since. She's the only one so far, but only if I only save on life, it will be worth it.

I'm also going to be an aunt in less than 3 months! I'm so excited that I am sober and alive to be a part of the baby's life. I want my niece to be to have a role model in me, and I finally feel like I'm worthy of that title.

And on top of all that, my writing for both Substance for You and Sisters in Serenity and Sobriety is going amazingly well. I had two WFS members call me today to tell me how incredibly talented I am. I wouldn't go that far with it, but it's nice to be praised for my writing. Writing to me is taking all the negative, unhealthy, toxic energy from inside me and expelling it onto paper in the form of words, sentences and paragraphs. Writing is the soul's art. I am just honored to be able to express my soul in such a way that touches other people's lives.

I've missed you all, but I'm so happy to say that I'm feeling good. Except for the cold I have, but I'm in such a great mood, I don't even care about it.

Much love, xx.

never let the things you want make you forget about the things that you have.

So I've been so busy these last few days/weeks so I haven't had as much time to write. Plus writing full time for someone else's blog has been time consuming, so with treatment, sobriety, starting at detox, I've been so swamped and have been neglecting my baby (this blog). So I thought I'd do a bit of an update to catch everyone up.

I started the Women for Sobriety meetings at detox last Tuesday. My friend who came said I did extremely well but I was so nervous I thought I bombed the whole thing. I was terrified that they would ask us not to come back. But I guess if she says I did well and they haven't said not to come, then I must have done something right. Who knows. There was only one girl there. I won't say much about her because I don't believe it's right to break confidentiality, but she made me feel so sad. I felt for her so badly, having been in similar circumstances last year. I was lucky, however, not to have to get into the sex trade for drugs. I know for  a fact though that if I had stayed out there, it would have come to that very quickly. I could already start to see it happening. She had nine children due to the sex trade industry. It was so hard to hear, but it made me so grateful for where I am now. Safe in my own bed, with no worries of getting money or drugs or being whored out by some abusive pimp.

On top of that, my writing for Substance for You has been going fabulous. Writing is the one thing I know for sure that I am good at, so I take immense pride in the things I write. Contributing to his blog is a huge milestone for me as it reaches a much broader audience. Plus it's my first time writing as me, not Jenna or Roxy. Just me, JORDYN. Yep, I said it. My real name is Jordyn and I'm a good writer. Hear that bitches (Jenna and Roxy I mean)? Your grip isn't so tight anymore.

As far as treatment goes, I've been doing much better. I've been doing my homework and doing my goals. Before I wasn't really trying to work on the goals I'd set, but the past two weeks I have completed them both perfectly. I'm really happy about this. It gives me hope that I can indeed, do this.

Hope all has been well in the blogger world. I've missed you all.

Much love, xx.

the road to success comes from hard work, determination and sacrifice.

I'm SO excited today! I don't think I've felt this good in a long, long time. I feel almost manic. If I didn't have good, exciting news, I'd be a bit worried about myself. Especially since I was put on a new mood stabilizer called Abilify.

Anyway, I had the meeting with the detox program coordinator today. And everything went very well! In fact, I start hosting the Women For Sobriety meetings there tomorrow! I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure that he would have to think everything over and then get back to me. So the fact that he said 'can we start this week?' was just a lovely shock.

I'm so thrilled about it and have been getting myself ready for tomorrow. I want to host the meeting as best as I can because I know that the other women in WFS are counting on me to spread the message in a professional, proficient manner. Plus, I feel that if I screw up, it could cost someone their sobriety. I need to really make sure I do well, but also not to get too much involved with each person. I know that the statistics for recovery are grim, so I can't expect that they will all get and stay sober. But I'm definitely going to keep my optimistic attitude and hope. I know that all it takes is someone to believe in you to make you believe in yourself. And then from there, recovery can seem like a possibility. I've taken this job on to help other women in need. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I just feel so great about it. I'm just so proud of myself. I can't believe it.
Wish me luck!

Much love, xx.

writing is the whispering of the soul.

http://substanceforyou.com/a-personal-perspective-on-bulimia/


My piece on bulimia was published! I am so incredibly proud and happy! I've been getting such positive feedback too, I couldn't be more excited. I feel that it is helping to raise an understanding and awareness about eating disorders.

I would really appreciate if you guys went to the site and shared the link via twitter/facebook or even if you just pass it along on here! I just believe that it can help our cause and will spread the message about what eating disorders can do to someone. I would really appreciate if you did.

On another note, I meet with the program coordinator of my local detox tomorrow to discuss Women for Sobriety meetings. I'm super nervous but also excited to convey my message to him. I just know that it will do some good for the women in detox and will at least make that one day a positive day for them. And it will give them another option for meetings.

I will check back in tomorrow with news on how it went. Wish me luck!

be the change you wish to see in the world.

In recent posts I had been talking about Women for Sobriety and volunteering to host meetings for the women at my local detox. At the time the program coordinator had not yet replied to my two attempts at contacting him. I was frustrated and a bit let down. I was worried that he was an adamant 12 step sort of guy and didn't want WFS coming in.

 Now don't think I'm putting the 12 steps down, I'm absolutely not. They help many people get and stay sober. So if it works for someone, great. I feel each individual has the choice to do whatever the feel keeps them sober. I'm just saying that many people do not know anything other than AA/NA/CA. There are some (not all) 12 steppers that think that the only thing that works is NA/AA and won't be open or willing to try or learn about other options. I personally never could connect to NA. I really tried to because many experts praise and recommend 12 step meetings, sponsors, etc. But in the end, it was not for me. There were some things I liked, but many more things I didn't. I gave it a long, honest try and it just wasn't helping. Sometimes I'd even come home feeling worse than I did before.

I was so, so fortunate to discover Women for Sobriety and to attend a meeting. I was even more lucky that we had a local meeting in my small, shitty city. Those meetings, the 13 affirmations, and the women both in my group and online have totally helped me save my life. They made me see how much I have to offer, how much good I am and have, and how much I had in my life. I always left feeling just absolutely wonderful, positive, strong, and filled with this incredible refreshing energy to get through the week and any problem. They even are supporting my treatment for my bulimia. The women there just ooze positivity, health, recovery, intelligence and compassion. They're every quality I respect and hope to be.

Now, before I finally got sober and found WFS I was in detox. While I was there they hosted one or two 12 step meetings per week. When I got out, I went straight back out to use and stuck a needle in my arm for the first time. I'm not saying that the 12 step meeting wasn't helpful. It was. But it also wasn't what I needed for my recovery, especially at that time. Since finding WFS I often ponder this and wonder, 'If there had been a Women for Sobriety meeting, would I have stayed sober?' I may not have, but there's also the chance I could have prevented that whole summer downfall. There's no point in dwelling on the past. There's nothing I can change about my story. But, I can change this for someone else in the future. So this is why I want to host a meeting there so badly. I'm extremely passionate about raising awareness for other meeting/treatment options. Especially for women.

One of my issues was that I rarely felt comfortable sharing every part of my story in a group full of mostly men. There are many women who feel the same. So I think it's important that there is an all women option where they can discuss traumas, abuse, rape, etc. with only women. They need a place where they will be met with understanding, empathy and will be safe. Women for Sobriety is that place. And of course anybody is more than welcome to attend  both WFS and NA/AA/CA. I don't want to encourage people not to attend those meetings, I simply just want to show women and others that there is another option for them out there (there is Men for Sobriety too, by the way).

Anyway, I'm extremely happy because I finally heard back from the program coordinator. He wants to set up a meeting with me to discuss things. I'm feeling hopeful. The woman who forwarded my message to him said that they're lucky to have 'such a wonderful opportunity.' I know it wouldn't hurt to have us come in, and would certainly do some good. Not only for the women in detox, but for me as well. Plus, there has recently been more requests for WFS meeting information. I'm excited to talk with him and discuss the benefits of this. I want this so badly it hurts. I'm going to start preparing so that when I go I'll be fully ready to answer any questions, concerns, etc. Our detox needs this. Women need this. And it thrills me to be the one to finally start this awareness movement. It just makes me feel proud. It will make my recovery so much more fulfilled to be able to help others and give back.

This has totally brought me out of my down mood. So today, I'm celebrating this success.

Much love, xx.

a garden of weeds cannot produce a beautiful flower.

I figured since my last post was about Women For Sobriety, I thought I should include a link to their website for those of you who may be interesting in trying them out.
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/new-life-program/ 

Also, on there is the list of the 13 Statements of Acceptance (listen below). These would be comparable to the 12 steps in NA/AA. However, WFS's statements of Acceptance are much more positive based and can be used as affirmations. In fact, it is recommend that you wake 15 minutes earlier each day to go over the 13 statements and choose one to use throughout the day. So you can try to apply your daily life to a certain statement to change your routines to a more positive, new lifestyle (e.g., "Happiness is created, not waited for" can be used during the day by taking a new scenic route to work too savour the beauty and brighten your moo or to find the good within the bad, or to be mindful of the present to find happiness within your life). You can also apply it as an affirmation. SO with every negative thought, you counter it with a positive one (e.g., "I am a useless fat pig" can be countered with, "I am a competent woman and have much to give life.").

Don't forget, the whole idea behind this type of meeting is that "image precedes our actions," so if your thoughts (image) are negative, your life, behaviors, and emotions (actions) will be negative. The same goes for the postive. At each meeting, each person shares, starting with "I am So&So and I am a competent woman" and then tells the group about her week. After that, she will pick one of the 13 statements that applies to her week. The idea is that the group will help you see at least one positive within your week and be there to support the not so positive parts. Eventually, you don't need their help, and you can see all the positive for yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors are changing and are much more positive. You learn to accept and love yourself for the capable, competent, caring and compassionate (WFS's 4C's) woman that you are.

Lastly,  there is a great online chat forum. You can find lots of info, support, and online chat meetings. It's great to supplement with or if you don't have a meeting in your area. There are also free reading and resources on the website. Enjoy!

You are here: Home » New Life Program » WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program

WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
   I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
   My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
   Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
   I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
   I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
   Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
   Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
   Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
   No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
    I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
    I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
    This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
    I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions.

she made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.

So I've been reflecting on these words, and this is what I hope I am, or will be, I want to be the girl everyone looks at with admiration. And not because I'm thin. Not because I've got track marks covering my skin and a drug induced confidence/ego a mile wide. But because my strength shines through everything else.

My dream in life is to help other girls who are struggling with addictions and eating disorders. I want to be able to tell them that recovery is worth it. I want them to see hope, strength and happiness radiating from me and know that they can have that too with recovery.

I may have finally got my first shot at giving back and helping others. I sent an email to my local detox centre on behalf of my recovery support group, Women For Sobriety (WFS).  I'm offering to host a WFS meeting at the detox centre once-twice per week. I want to raise awareness that you have other options than NA/AA/CA and the 12 steps (you can attend AA/NA and attend WFS and anyone can be apart of either but they are kept separate for the meetings purpose). Nothing against the 12 steps, since they have helped many people, but they never helped me. I felt like they were negative, male run, and too religion based. WFS is a secular, positive, support for those who want sobriety. You can be of any religion or spirituality, or of none at all, but that never really enters the room (unless talking about one's self) nor is it ever pushed on you. And in place of "I'm So&So and I'm an addict", there is the positive spin of "I am So&So and I am a competent woman." The women there just ooze love, acceptance, compassion, and respect. I've never felt more happy and loved than I do in their presence. Plus, when I was in detox they only had 12 step meetings. I couldn't relate to it. So I ended up using, and starting IV use, the day I left. Maybe if I had been introduced to WFS I might not have gone that way and perhaps would have chosen sobriety instead. But I can't know that for sure and I can't dwell on the past. All I can do is offer that choice to other girls and women so that maybe they can stay sober. I just want to make their stay at detox at least a some what positive experience and I think these meetings is the way to do it. I highly recommend WFS to every woman (there is a Men for Sobriety as well in some places).

So I'm excited about this. It not only lets me help others, but it also makes me feel good too. And since all I want is to radiate hope, strength, and happiness through recovery, it means I need to fully achieve that in all areas of life. I can't just be content with almost 10 months. I need to work as hard as I can on my eating disorder as well. I need to find my passions and live life to the fullest. I can't be a sober addict, I need to be a recovering addict, meaning I can't just be drug-free. I have to recover in all aspects, emotionally, physically, etc. I need to further deal with my traumas and learn to love myself. And as I progress through my life and recovery, I will be a step closer to my dream of helping others. I will do it. I can do it.

My dream is for the taking. All I have to do is reach out and take it,