writing is the whispering of the soul.

http://substanceforyou.com/a-personal-perspective-on-bulimia/


My piece on bulimia was published! I am so incredibly proud and happy! I've been getting such positive feedback too, I couldn't be more excited. I feel that it is helping to raise an understanding and awareness about eating disorders.

I would really appreciate if you guys went to the site and shared the link via twitter/facebook or even if you just pass it along on here! I just believe that it can help our cause and will spread the message about what eating disorders can do to someone. I would really appreciate if you did.

On another note, I meet with the program coordinator of my local detox tomorrow to discuss Women for Sobriety meetings. I'm super nervous but also excited to convey my message to him. I just know that it will do some good for the women in detox and will at least make that one day a positive day for them. And it will give them another option for meetings.

I will check back in tomorrow with news on how it went. Wish me luck!

a garden of weeds cannot produce a beautiful flower.

I figured since my last post was about Women For Sobriety, I thought I should include a link to their website for those of you who may be interesting in trying them out.
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/new-life-program/ 

Also, on there is the list of the 13 Statements of Acceptance (listen below). These would be comparable to the 12 steps in NA/AA. However, WFS's statements of Acceptance are much more positive based and can be used as affirmations. In fact, it is recommend that you wake 15 minutes earlier each day to go over the 13 statements and choose one to use throughout the day. So you can try to apply your daily life to a certain statement to change your routines to a more positive, new lifestyle (e.g., "Happiness is created, not waited for" can be used during the day by taking a new scenic route to work too savour the beauty and brighten your moo or to find the good within the bad, or to be mindful of the present to find happiness within your life). You can also apply it as an affirmation. SO with every negative thought, you counter it with a positive one (e.g., "I am a useless fat pig" can be countered with, "I am a competent woman and have much to give life.").

Don't forget, the whole idea behind this type of meeting is that "image precedes our actions," so if your thoughts (image) are negative, your life, behaviors, and emotions (actions) will be negative. The same goes for the postive. At each meeting, each person shares, starting with "I am So&So and I am a competent woman" and then tells the group about her week. After that, she will pick one of the 13 statements that applies to her week. The idea is that the group will help you see at least one positive within your week and be there to support the not so positive parts. Eventually, you don't need their help, and you can see all the positive for yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors are changing and are much more positive. You learn to accept and love yourself for the capable, competent, caring and compassionate (WFS's 4C's) woman that you are.

Lastly,  there is a great online chat forum. You can find lots of info, support, and online chat meetings. It's great to supplement with or if you don't have a meeting in your area. There are also free reading and resources on the website. Enjoy!

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WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
   I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
   My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
   Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
   I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
   I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
   Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
   Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
   Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
   No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
    I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
    I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
    This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
    I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions.

she made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.

So I've been reflecting on these words, and this is what I hope I am, or will be, I want to be the girl everyone looks at with admiration. And not because I'm thin. Not because I've got track marks covering my skin and a drug induced confidence/ego a mile wide. But because my strength shines through everything else.

My dream in life is to help other girls who are struggling with addictions and eating disorders. I want to be able to tell them that recovery is worth it. I want them to see hope, strength and happiness radiating from me and know that they can have that too with recovery.

I may have finally got my first shot at giving back and helping others. I sent an email to my local detox centre on behalf of my recovery support group, Women For Sobriety (WFS).  I'm offering to host a WFS meeting at the detox centre once-twice per week. I want to raise awareness that you have other options than NA/AA/CA and the 12 steps (you can attend AA/NA and attend WFS and anyone can be apart of either but they are kept separate for the meetings purpose). Nothing against the 12 steps, since they have helped many people, but they never helped me. I felt like they were negative, male run, and too religion based. WFS is a secular, positive, support for those who want sobriety. You can be of any religion or spirituality, or of none at all, but that never really enters the room (unless talking about one's self) nor is it ever pushed on you. And in place of "I'm So&So and I'm an addict", there is the positive spin of "I am So&So and I am a competent woman." The women there just ooze love, acceptance, compassion, and respect. I've never felt more happy and loved than I do in their presence. Plus, when I was in detox they only had 12 step meetings. I couldn't relate to it. So I ended up using, and starting IV use, the day I left. Maybe if I had been introduced to WFS I might not have gone that way and perhaps would have chosen sobriety instead. But I can't know that for sure and I can't dwell on the past. All I can do is offer that choice to other girls and women so that maybe they can stay sober. I just want to make their stay at detox at least a some what positive experience and I think these meetings is the way to do it. I highly recommend WFS to every woman (there is a Men for Sobriety as well in some places).

So I'm excited about this. It not only lets me help others, but it also makes me feel good too. And since all I want is to radiate hope, strength, and happiness through recovery, it means I need to fully achieve that in all areas of life. I can't just be content with almost 10 months. I need to work as hard as I can on my eating disorder as well. I need to find my passions and live life to the fullest. I can't be a sober addict, I need to be a recovering addict, meaning I can't just be drug-free. I have to recover in all aspects, emotionally, physically, etc. I need to further deal with my traumas and learn to love myself. And as I progress through my life and recovery, I will be a step closer to my dream of helping others. I will do it. I can do it.

My dream is for the taking. All I have to do is reach out and take it,