I'm SO excited today! I don't think I've felt this good in a long, long time. I feel almost manic. If I didn't have good, exciting news, I'd be a bit worried about myself. Especially since I was put on a new mood stabilizer called Abilify.
Anyway, I had the meeting with the detox program coordinator today. And everything went very well! In fact, I start hosting the Women For Sobriety meetings there tomorrow! I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure that he would have to think everything over and then get back to me. So the fact that he said 'can we start this week?' was just a lovely shock.
I'm so thrilled about it and have been getting myself ready for tomorrow. I want to host the meeting as best as I can because I know that the other women in WFS are counting on me to spread the message in a professional, proficient manner. Plus, I feel that if I screw up, it could cost someone their sobriety. I need to really make sure I do well, but also not to get too much involved with each person. I know that the statistics for recovery are grim, so I can't expect that they will all get and stay sober. But I'm definitely going to keep my optimistic attitude and hope. I know that all it takes is someone to believe in you to make you believe in yourself. And then from there, recovery can seem like a possibility. I've taken this job on to help other women in need. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I just feel so great about it. I'm just so proud of myself. I can't believe it.
Wish me luck!
Much love, xx.
Showing posts with label AA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AA. Show all posts
Thursday, 25 June 2015
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
be the change you wish to see in the world.
In recent posts I had been talking about Women for Sobriety and volunteering to host meetings for the women at my local detox. At the time the program coordinator had not yet replied to my two attempts at contacting him. I was frustrated and a bit let down. I was worried that he was an adamant 12 step sort of guy and didn't want WFS coming in.
Now don't think I'm putting the 12 steps down, I'm absolutely not. They help many people get and stay sober. So if it works for someone, great. I feel each individual has the choice to do whatever the feel keeps them sober. I'm just saying that many people do not know anything other than AA/NA/CA. There are some (not all) 12 steppers that think that the only thing that works is NA/AA and won't be open or willing to try or learn about other options. I personally never could connect to NA. I really tried to because many experts praise and recommend 12 step meetings, sponsors, etc. But in the end, it was not for me. There were some things I liked, but many more things I didn't. I gave it a long, honest try and it just wasn't helping. Sometimes I'd even come home feeling worse than I did before.
I was so, so fortunate to discover Women for Sobriety and to attend a meeting. I was even more lucky that we had a local meeting in my small, shitty city. Those meetings, the 13 affirmations, and the women both in my group and online have totally helped me save my life. They made me see how much I have to offer, how much good I am and have, and how much I had in my life. I always left feeling just absolutely wonderful, positive, strong, and filled with this incredible refreshing energy to get through the week and any problem. They even are supporting my treatment for my bulimia. The women there just ooze positivity, health, recovery, intelligence and compassion. They're every quality I respect and hope to be.
Now, before I finally got sober and found WFS I was in detox. While I was there they hosted one or two 12 step meetings per week. When I got out, I went straight back out to use and stuck a needle in my arm for the first time. I'm not saying that the 12 step meeting wasn't helpful. It was. But it also wasn't what I needed for my recovery, especially at that time. Since finding WFS I often ponder this and wonder, 'If there had been a Women for Sobriety meeting, would I have stayed sober?' I may not have, but there's also the chance I could have prevented that whole summer downfall. There's no point in dwelling on the past. There's nothing I can change about my story. But, I can change this for someone else in the future. So this is why I want to host a meeting there so badly. I'm extremely passionate about raising awareness for other meeting/treatment options. Especially for women.
One of my issues was that I rarely felt comfortable sharing every part of my story in a group full of mostly men. There are many women who feel the same. So I think it's important that there is an all women option where they can discuss traumas, abuse, rape, etc. with only women. They need a place where they will be met with understanding, empathy and will be safe. Women for Sobriety is that place. And of course anybody is more than welcome to attend both WFS and NA/AA/CA. I don't want to encourage people not to attend those meetings, I simply just want to show women and others that there is another option for them out there (there is Men for Sobriety too, by the way).
Anyway, I'm extremely happy because I finally heard back from the program coordinator. He wants to set up a meeting with me to discuss things. I'm feeling hopeful. The woman who forwarded my message to him said that they're lucky to have 'such a wonderful opportunity.' I know it wouldn't hurt to have us come in, and would certainly do some good. Not only for the women in detox, but for me as well. Plus, there has recently been more requests for WFS meeting information. I'm excited to talk with him and discuss the benefits of this. I want this so badly it hurts. I'm going to start preparing so that when I go I'll be fully ready to answer any questions, concerns, etc. Our detox needs this. Women need this. And it thrills me to be the one to finally start this awareness movement. It just makes me feel proud. It will make my recovery so much more fulfilled to be able to help others and give back.
This has totally brought me out of my down mood. So today, I'm celebrating this success.
Much love, xx.
Now don't think I'm putting the 12 steps down, I'm absolutely not. They help many people get and stay sober. So if it works for someone, great. I feel each individual has the choice to do whatever the feel keeps them sober. I'm just saying that many people do not know anything other than AA/NA/CA. There are some (not all) 12 steppers that think that the only thing that works is NA/AA and won't be open or willing to try or learn about other options. I personally never could connect to NA. I really tried to because many experts praise and recommend 12 step meetings, sponsors, etc. But in the end, it was not for me. There were some things I liked, but many more things I didn't. I gave it a long, honest try and it just wasn't helping. Sometimes I'd even come home feeling worse than I did before.
I was so, so fortunate to discover Women for Sobriety and to attend a meeting. I was even more lucky that we had a local meeting in my small, shitty city. Those meetings, the 13 affirmations, and the women both in my group and online have totally helped me save my life. They made me see how much I have to offer, how much good I am and have, and how much I had in my life. I always left feeling just absolutely wonderful, positive, strong, and filled with this incredible refreshing energy to get through the week and any problem. They even are supporting my treatment for my bulimia. The women there just ooze positivity, health, recovery, intelligence and compassion. They're every quality I respect and hope to be.
Now, before I finally got sober and found WFS I was in detox. While I was there they hosted one or two 12 step meetings per week. When I got out, I went straight back out to use and stuck a needle in my arm for the first time. I'm not saying that the 12 step meeting wasn't helpful. It was. But it also wasn't what I needed for my recovery, especially at that time. Since finding WFS I often ponder this and wonder, 'If there had been a Women for Sobriety meeting, would I have stayed sober?' I may not have, but there's also the chance I could have prevented that whole summer downfall. There's no point in dwelling on the past. There's nothing I can change about my story. But, I can change this for someone else in the future. So this is why I want to host a meeting there so badly. I'm extremely passionate about raising awareness for other meeting/treatment options. Especially for women.
One of my issues was that I rarely felt comfortable sharing every part of my story in a group full of mostly men. There are many women who feel the same. So I think it's important that there is an all women option where they can discuss traumas, abuse, rape, etc. with only women. They need a place where they will be met with understanding, empathy and will be safe. Women for Sobriety is that place. And of course anybody is more than welcome to attend both WFS and NA/AA/CA. I don't want to encourage people not to attend those meetings, I simply just want to show women and others that there is another option for them out there (there is Men for Sobriety too, by the way).
Anyway, I'm extremely happy because I finally heard back from the program coordinator. He wants to set up a meeting with me to discuss things. I'm feeling hopeful. The woman who forwarded my message to him said that they're lucky to have 'such a wonderful opportunity.' I know it wouldn't hurt to have us come in, and would certainly do some good. Not only for the women in detox, but for me as well. Plus, there has recently been more requests for WFS meeting information. I'm excited to talk with him and discuss the benefits of this. I want this so badly it hurts. I'm going to start preparing so that when I go I'll be fully ready to answer any questions, concerns, etc. Our detox needs this. Women need this. And it thrills me to be the one to finally start this awareness movement. It just makes me feel proud. It will make my recovery so much more fulfilled to be able to help others and give back.
This has totally brought me out of my down mood. So today, I'm celebrating this success.
Much love, xx.
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
a garden of weeds cannot produce a beautiful flower.
I figured since my last post was about Women For Sobriety, I thought I should include a link to their website for those of you who may be interesting in trying them out.
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/new-life-program/
Also, on there is the list of the 13 Statements of Acceptance (listen below). These would be comparable to the 12 steps in NA/AA. However, WFS's statements of Acceptance are much more positive based and can be used as affirmations. In fact, it is recommend that you wake 15 minutes earlier each day to go over the 13 statements and choose one to use throughout the day. So you can try to apply your daily life to a certain statement to change your routines to a more positive, new lifestyle (e.g., "Happiness is created, not waited for" can be used during the day by taking a new scenic route to work too savour the beauty and brighten your moo or to find the good within the bad, or to be mindful of the present to find happiness within your life). You can also apply it as an affirmation. SO with every negative thought, you counter it with a positive one (e.g., "I am a useless fat pig" can be countered with, "I am a competent woman and have much to give life.").
Don't forget, the whole idea behind this type of meeting is that "image precedes our actions," so if your thoughts (image) are negative, your life, behaviors, and emotions (actions) will be negative. The same goes for the postive. At each meeting, each person shares, starting with "I am So&So and I am a competent woman" and then tells the group about her week. After that, she will pick one of the 13 statements that applies to her week. The idea is that the group will help you see at least one positive within your week and be there to support the not so positive parts. Eventually, you don't need their help, and you can see all the positive for yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors are changing and are much more positive. You learn to accept and love yourself for the capable, competent, caring and compassionate (WFS's 4C's) woman that you are.
Lastly, there is a great online chat forum. You can find lots of info, support, and online chat meetings. It's great to supplement with or if you don't have a meeting in your area. There are also free reading and resources on the website. Enjoy!
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/new-life-program/
Also, on there is the list of the 13 Statements of Acceptance (listen below). These would be comparable to the 12 steps in NA/AA. However, WFS's statements of Acceptance are much more positive based and can be used as affirmations. In fact, it is recommend that you wake 15 minutes earlier each day to go over the 13 statements and choose one to use throughout the day. So you can try to apply your daily life to a certain statement to change your routines to a more positive, new lifestyle (e.g., "Happiness is created, not waited for" can be used during the day by taking a new scenic route to work too savour the beauty and brighten your moo or to find the good within the bad, or to be mindful of the present to find happiness within your life). You can also apply it as an affirmation. SO with every negative thought, you counter it with a positive one (e.g., "I am a useless fat pig" can be countered with, "I am a competent woman and have much to give life.").
Don't forget, the whole idea behind this type of meeting is that "image precedes our actions," so if your thoughts (image) are negative, your life, behaviors, and emotions (actions) will be negative. The same goes for the postive. At each meeting, each person shares, starting with "I am So&So and I am a competent woman" and then tells the group about her week. After that, she will pick one of the 13 statements that applies to her week. The idea is that the group will help you see at least one positive within your week and be there to support the not so positive parts. Eventually, you don't need their help, and you can see all the positive for yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors are changing and are much more positive. You learn to accept and love yourself for the capable, competent, caring and compassionate (WFS's 4C's) woman that you are.
Lastly, there is a great online chat forum. You can find lots of info, support, and online chat meetings. It's great to supplement with or if you don't have a meeting in your area. There are also free reading and resources on the website. Enjoy!
WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program
- I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility. - Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life. - Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for. - Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me. - I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman. - Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort. - Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important. - The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities. - The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person. - All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me. - Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life. - I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always. - I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions.
she made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.
So I've been reflecting on these words, and this is what I hope I am, or will be, I want to be the girl everyone looks at with admiration. And not because I'm thin. Not because I've got track marks covering my skin and a drug induced confidence/ego a mile wide. But because my strength shines through everything else.
My dream in life is to help other girls who are struggling with addictions and eating disorders. I want to be able to tell them that recovery is worth it. I want them to see hope, strength and happiness radiating from me and know that they can have that too with recovery.
I may have finally got my first shot at giving back and helping others. I sent an email to my local detox centre on behalf of my recovery support group, Women For Sobriety (WFS). I'm offering to host a WFS meeting at the detox centre once-twice per week. I want to raise awareness that you have other options than NA/AA/CA and the 12 steps (you can attend AA/NA and attend WFS and anyone can be apart of either but they are kept separate for the meetings purpose). Nothing against the 12 steps, since they have helped many people, but they never helped me. I felt like they were negative, male run, and too religion based. WFS is a secular, positive, support for those who want sobriety. You can be of any religion or spirituality, or of none at all, but that never really enters the room (unless talking about one's self) nor is it ever pushed on you. And in place of "I'm So&So and I'm an addict", there is the positive spin of "I am So&So and I am a competent woman." The women there just ooze love, acceptance, compassion, and respect. I've never felt more happy and loved than I do in their presence. Plus, when I was in detox they only had 12 step meetings. I couldn't relate to it. So I ended up using, and starting IV use, the day I left. Maybe if I had been introduced to WFS I might not have gone that way and perhaps would have chosen sobriety instead. But I can't know that for sure and I can't dwell on the past. All I can do is offer that choice to other girls and women so that maybe they can stay sober. I just want to make their stay at detox at least a some what positive experience and I think these meetings is the way to do it. I highly recommend WFS to every woman (there is a Men for Sobriety as well in some places).
So I'm excited about this. It not only lets me help others, but it also makes me feel good too. And since all I want is to radiate hope, strength, and happiness through recovery, it means I need to fully achieve that in all areas of life. I can't just be content with almost 10 months. I need to work as hard as I can on my eating disorder as well. I need to find my passions and live life to the fullest. I can't be a sober addict, I need to be a recovering addict, meaning I can't just be drug-free. I have to recover in all aspects, emotionally, physically, etc. I need to further deal with my traumas and learn to love myself. And as I progress through my life and recovery, I will be a step closer to my dream of helping others. I will do it. I can do it.
My dream is for the taking. All I have to do is reach out and take it,
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